Again, I am not the only one during this season dealing with this stuff. Amazing.
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS:
I would have you take the land for My kingdom, says the Lord. But, I speak to you in spiritual terms. There are parts of your heart that have become bitter and hardened because of the difficulties you have faced. Those hard places of discouragement, rejection, and frustration must be plowed up like fallow ground and planted with seeds of faith and trust. You must take the ground of your own heart before you can do the external work.
Hosea 10:12 Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till he come and rain righteousness upon you.