So, I am praying and I tell the LORD that my ways are committed to Him. I used to tell Him anything He wants but stopped because I dont want any more pain.
What does that say about my thoughts?
God is the orchestrator of my pain. Before Jordan got sick, He invited me to heal our family. It was only an invitation and hell would soon be unleashed on us. But, He was with me at every step.
Lately, I would not commit to Him I just am tired of the never-ending ass whopping. I must be blaming God.
He doesnt orchestrate evil. He redeems.
Because of that, I didnt trust His goodness. LORD, I am sorry. You walked with me through nightmares and held my hand in the fire.
God didnt “do it”. Father please forgive me. I renounce all blame against You. Please forgive me.
Zech 3:1-7 is for today.
Joshua, the High Priest
3 Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. 2 The Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! Indeed, the Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?” 3 Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments and standing before the angel. 4 He spoke and said to those who were standing before him, saying, “Remove the filthy garments from him.” Again he said to him, “See, I have taken your iniquity away from you and will clothe you with festal robes.” 5 Then I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments, while the angel of the Lord was standing by.
6 And the angel of the Lord admonished Joshua, saying, 7 “Thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘If you will walk in My ways and if you will perform My service, then you will also govern My house and also have charge of My courts, and I will grant you free access among these who are standing here.