God continues to work on me. Control is being rooted out. I came to the revelation last week that I was angry at God. None of my life was in control, and I was mad at Him. I repented.
Jordan has been rebelling. She displays anger and says she wants no part of me (and Laura on some days).
Last night, she was allowed to go over to Tim’s house for Stephanie’s birthday. Well, Stephanie is a great friend to Jordan, we think. Tim and Jordan had a thing going. I said no dating. Tim and Jordan broke up. Tim and Stephanie are now an item. Jordan is hurt. Does she blame me? Am I too controlling? We cannot police our kids and make them be like the Beavers. It just isnt going to happen.
God knows what’s up and has their hearts. I heard a great message yesterday by Andy Stanley talking about erring to the side of grace over law. I want to give Jordan the car and driver’s license back as a step in this direction and for rebuilding trust in her. I want to show her that we do trust her and are taking the first steps out into it. We shall see what happens.
My heart actually hurt for her last night. I have been so focused on rebellion and anger and all of that that I missed out on the fact that my little girl has a hurt heart. She still isnt talking to me, but this am, I went up to her and told her that I was sorry that she had a hurt heart and that I loved her. I didnt get a response, but perhaps I have been just too hard on her. I dont know. We have been dealing with the demonic.
Control is related to witchcraft. What does not controlling look like? I am learning that.
This is more complicated than the surface shows.
We need the LORD’s help and have sought it and continue to.
God is my refuge and strength and a very present help in trouble.