Got attacked on Friday. It was plain and simple nasty devil stuff.
Things with Rob unraveled. Things with Jordan unraveled – she wrecked the car. Then, the discussion with Laura caused more unraveling. My own conviction on this is that God let loose the dogs to bring about change in me.
Yesterday, I went running on my favorite run in the world in Berthoud, CO. I had just started when a train was about to come. The signal gates were down. I looked, and the train was a pretty far distance so I ran across.
Immediately, I heard, “do not take unnecessary chances.” I believe it to be about Rob.
I am in a hard place. I feel like the last two years I have failed to maintain the integrity of my relationship with the LORD due to my attempts to enter into the world of my family. Since I have been out here, I am seeing again; I am hearing again; I am getting healthy, spiritually.
Rob operates out of a stronghold of fear. And, love breaks fear. But, I am not about to come under that fear in terms of my own dealings. So, I have the opportunity to love him out of it but dont know how to do that.
Relationships is what Laura lands on. I get what she says. She wants to know why I dont maintain them for longer than 18 months. Well, I would defend myself, which is always dangerous, and say that I have plenty of relationships that I enjoy. I dont need a lot of friends.
Anyway, I need wisdom and ask the LORD to give it to me.
There is something to be learned here for sure.