If I am to lay down my life, what does that mean?
For Laura, it means providing a safe, secure and inviting atmosphere where she can operate as created. She doesnt operate there currently.
For the kids, it means showing them the Father’s love and raising them up in the proper way. This is disconnected with me being gone. Out of all areas, the kids probably produce the most fruit.
For work, it means finding the job that is home and permanent. Emerald isnt it. It is a bandaid to cover me until God releases me into ministry. In my heart, that is what it is. That might have something to do with why there is no fruit.
I believe that I might have been operating in a position of readiness for something to occur right away when God is asking me to focus on the family and let restitution come there first. The ministry will follow, but it has to be laid down.
It might be that I have to pursue the job and Laura and the house as if it is the end. That is it. Find the best of that world and live in it. This would be laying it down. To work at a place that doesnt bear fruit simply for toleration sake because you are going into some big ministry would be control.
I must pray about these thoughts and seek the counsel of the posse.
Chris already responded that he likes this line of thinking. He called it pure.
Father, I ask for wisdom, and I thank You for giving it to me generously.