Today is our anniversary. And, we wont talk at all. That pretty much sums up our marriage. It is dark, and I see the need for some serious work of God. I dont even want to be married to her at times now. Other times, I want to, but it just hurts too much. So, I give her to the LORD. There is nothing more for me to do. I dont even know what to do.
I shall not fear man any longer. I wont be afraid of what might happen if I make the wrong decision. Laura has threatened me with blowing us up so many times that she got me to the point of not doing anything. And, here I am in this job that is not my calling. I know this in my heart. I feel that I have somehow gotten off the path that I am to be walking.
Well, I aim to find out where that trail is again. I am seeking the LORD on His will for my life. And, I will pursue that at all costs. Our circumstances suck right now. I hate my job. I hate my marriage. I dont know if this is more desert walking or simply a result of me making decisions out of fear. It seems that I have entered the desert for another 40 years.
I will simply seek the LORD on what He wants and then go do that. If questionable, I will seek the counsel of believers for wisdom and pray for it daily. Then, I will move out and not look back. He will cover me and my mistakes. I will bring Him glory and honor. He is my God, and I love Him. I trust Him. I know Him.