I think it’s incredible you’re going to Italy. God will do it – He said so. Second, you know who your God is. Yes, you’re still getting to know him *as* your Father – from the head to the heart. We all are. And he’s going to show you just how extravagant his love for you is. I can imagine right now you’re feeling afraid, uncertain, rejected, etc. Let me assure you that you are actually right where God wants you (though that’s probably not what you want to hear) and he is teaching you how to be utterly and completely dependent on him for absolutely all of your needs. This is a season, it won’t be forever and you are an heir with Christ – you know what that means. Your inheritance is God’s abundance. God is doing something incredible at Home Depot and I believe he’s going to use that place for divine setups and connections that are critical to your ministry – continue to thank him for what’s coming even when you don’t feel gratitude. Thirdly, you’re not scary. You don’t scare people. That is a lie from the pit of hell that you scare women. The problem is, you’ve been carrying a strong rejection mentality and what you believe about yourself will reflect and project onto your friendships and relationships without you even realizing it. When we label ourselves and can’t stop believing the enemies lies, it’s difficult to rip that label off and be our true selves around people. Sometimes when people can sense another persons needs that they know they can’t actually meet, they don’t exactly know how to respond – and that can cause the other person to feel rejected. You are a person with valid feelings, but also pure motives and intentions. God knows your heart and he’s going to bring specific people into your life of both genders to walk this journey out with you. Thank him for the people who have already come along side you – whether it was for a short time or longer. He knows our needs/wants better than we do and sometimes when we want something he’s going to say no or not yet. Continue to trust him. He is your loving Father. He’ll only withhold from you to protect you, and release the blessing in the hour that is best for you. Lastly, those words are awesome!! And they are from God. When he reiterates things, he wants us to believe Him. He will show you more.
Me: Ya thanks. Honestly I’m pretty petrified of making young, single women think I’m a predator. So I really don’t know what’s safe between you and I. You extremely honest input would be invaluable. Lots of bad experiences pre Jesus. I was married up to last year. I have no clue what I’m doing.
Clare: Oh and one last thing. You are a son – back to adoption. I’m here to remind you that “homeless” is not in your vocabulary. Your home is tucked away in God’s heart (you can roll your eyes, but hear me) and he knows your needs before you even come to him. There is power in declaration and knowing who your Papa is. Let him shock you with how he provides for you in this season and declare out loud daily that you have a home and that your God is Jehovah Jirah. Write out what it looks like, draw it, visualize it, and let your faith grow bigger than a mustard seed.
Me: And you are right on about the rejection thing. Ok on the one more thing! Thanks for the whipping. I needed it
The Fathers Song ( Spontaneous ) – UPPERROOMI haven’t watched this but I think it’s the same as the Spotify version I’ve listened to 100 times.Go sit with it when you have time
Me: Ok. Today is my spiritual birthday. 16. Sweet ha!And please help me understand proper boundaries
Clare: Yay Jesus!!! Get him God
Honestly, I don’t think that’s for me or other people to help you understand. I think it’s something God will show you. It all starts in your heart and who you believe you are and what you think about yourself. Your “boundaries” won’t even be something you think about or worry about when it comes to people because of the confidence you have as a son and who God has created you to be. That’s what Holy Spirit is for. He helps us to know what to say, to who, when. Do we mess up sometimes? Of course. But are we all learning? Yes. And there is grace for all of us. You need to be more concerned with how you view yourself rather than how others are perceiving you. The devil knows that this is something that is getting to you. He knows this is a weak spot in your heart – questioning your identity. If he can keep you in this place he knows it will keep you from relationship with people and keep you in loneliness. Thank Holy Spirit for everything he is doing in you right now – he is dealing with everything that needs to be dealt with in it’s time. Don’t resent this process
Me: Ok boss. I’m tracking.
Clare: And also, you should be much more aware and invested in your relationship with God and how that is going – instead of looking at the relationships you don’t have with people or at what other people think. Listen from now on to the way you talk about yourself – pay very close attention. The way you see yourself directly affects how others will see you. The Holy Spirit transforms us and renews our mind. Until you can see yourself the way God does, your insecurities and false mentalities will keep you from being able to form and keep solid friendships.
Me: Well thanks for seeing through all of that. People can do harm with their tongue ya know? I’m not a victim and don’t carry that. But God is healing stuff.
Clare: Your newfound confidence in who you really are (it will happen) will automatically attract people into your life without you even having to say hello – you will be completely blown away by how many friendships seem to form out of nowhere just because you walk in your full and true identity as a Son of God. You need to fill yourself so full of the truth (in your heart, not just your head) to where every time the enemy comes at you with a lie you were so used to believing, it will bounce right off because there’s no room for his lies anymore. Yes he is – give yourself grace for the JOURNEY. What kind of testimony would we have if we discovered who we were without it?