I sent this prayer request out.
Hi,
I need your prayer please.
It seems that I am locked in a battle that has been going on for a while now.
And I really believe it involves me surrendering my will to the Lordship of Jesus.
I don’t drink that often, but I haven’t stopped completely. I felt that the Lord wanted me to give this to Him, but I haven’t wanted to. Now I’m in a cycle of trying to figure out what is permissible, negotiation and condemnation the next day after a couple glasses (or more) of wine. It feels progressive.
I have probably gained 15 lbs since a year ago November. It causes me great consternation. Yes, I have had a number of significant injuries to my back, legs, etc that kept me from exercising but it feels that self control (fruit of the Spirit) has left the building. My health has been mostly good the last two months, and I ride the bike about five days a week. But I’m going backwards still.
I still do not feel God’s presence very often.
If I fast, I cheat or break it quickly. This was never the case.
All in all, the fire has gone out or is just smoldering. Seems like Holy Spirit has left the building.
Psalm 143 is ME! I have been praying that and Psalm 51 for a while now.
The Lord has been telling me He is faithful for close to four weeks now. I get it every where. “Faithful”. He also has been saying that He will make a way.
Chuck Pierce has a book out right now that couldn’t be more timely. It’s about restoring the altar fire. It’s written about me, ha.
I know my life has been prophetic and I tend to be a good representation of the church at any point in time. Maybe that’s part of this. But, honestly it sucks.
I just want to do what the Lord wants. I want His will. I want the fire back. More than anything I want to feel Him in my life, to walk with Him and to see the name of Jesus glorified through my life in a massive way.
Please pray for me.
You are free to share anything you get. I sometimes wonder whether I’m not really off target, and the religious spirit is chewing my ear off or whether what I wrote above holds true.
Even our house is having issues with fire, fire places, the stove, etc.
I used to be on fire. Now. There’s just smoke.
Thank you,
John