At counseling last night, we made recipes on what was lacking, forgotten, out of date and something else. One of the big things that Laura said was that there were too many rules.
Out of everything that was said, that stuck out.
My sight and hearing are still low. I dont know why. Is it because I am not in a church? Is it because of judgmentalism? Is there sin? What is it, God?
Am I overbearing? The dreams about bears attacking. Is it a statement of over BEARing?
I honestly dont know how to do this.
Jordan wants to engage a discussion about Harry Potter during dinner. I told them that they know I dont want to have anything to do with that. But, Jordan can do whatever she wants with it – outside the house. It wont be in here. And, if she chooses to discuss that kind of stuff, I am simply going to leave. I am not mad or anything. I just wont take part in it.
And, I become an outsider.
My family likes things in the world. Things that I would not want near me. Nor will I go near them. So, how do I stay true to that and still love them? How did Jesus hang out with them and make them feel welcome and loved? Man, is that hard.
I really dont know. I need wisdom.
This is similar to what Paul Pickard is going through with his son. and, when I hear him, it sounds like lots of rules. I dont want to be that guy. I want the relationship.
God, give me wisdom. Give me love.
Help! Please help.