I can totally understand how it makes you feel. I am sorry. I hate that this is evidence of where we are.
I have learned that I must get over the fear of man thing. I hate that I cannot share with you what God is doing. The LORD called me down there. My fear of what you might say or do kept me from sharing. Would you have responded positively? Me thinks not. This is the biggest move of God ever. He asked me to go. I am not going to miss it. I really would have liked for you to go with me. It took 4 or 5 people to convince me that it was the right thing and then a confirmation from Him after I left to let me know that I made the right decision. I expect that you will have an opposite opinion, but I am used to that.
You have to ask yourself why would I even want to withhold information from you.
This fear thing goes with my work too. I don’t operate out of selfish ambition, and I don’t want you speaking that into me any longer. My heart is for what God wants me to do. It will bring passion and a fire to make a difference. Do you think I have that now? Something is amiss with work, and I aim to seek the LORD to find out where He wants me and then go there.
ECC 5
18 Here is what I have seen: It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it is his heritage. 19 As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor—this is the gift of God. 20 For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart.
I am tired of operating this way and am going to get right with God on it so that WE can have the abundant life that He promises.
Enough is enough.
John
From: Laura Stein [mailto:lauramstein@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, April 23, 2008 6:59 PM
To: john@freeradikals.com
Subject: thinking
Have you ever felt like someone lied to you because they withheld information?