I need breakthrough. This is another low point in life.
I called Faye yesterday, and she started praying for forgiveness for being disobedient to Holy Spirit’s direction.
She prayed for courage to obey.
It seems that I am rebellious or at least, not submitting to what God wants.
Frankly, I think that it has to do with finding work. Then, I get into the cycle of the jobs falling apart at the last moment. It becomes hopeless.
I am in the blender.
Yesterday was terribly depressing. I spent the better part trying to figure out where I have gotten it wrong.
The one thing that Peter mentioned yesterday was to not sweat the pay. Let God have that. This is the Jacob thing. It is the third time that I have heard this.
So, I got that one. It took a few people and some experience with Inversoft, etc. to get there. Whatever they offer, that is what I take.
So, where am I disobedient?
I need to find a job. Am hoping for God to bring me the company.
This is hard.
Am also thinking that the evil spirit sent to Saul was witchcraft.
1 Samuel 15:23 talks about Saul’s disobedience, fear of man and that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and insubordination like idolatry. Insubordination being stubbornness.
I have people talking about that in my midst. I have Faye praying. I have witchcraft being fought against with the family.
It is overwhelming.
The big changes/lessons:
- value people – they are made in God’s image. everyone has value
- trust God – let Him choose the pay
- Obey